Autobiographies of Dalits                                                                         www.dalitindia.com

 

AN UNTOUCHABLE INDIAN

 

 

D. Gopi, Journalist

51-5-27, Media House

Gunadala, Vijayawada – 520 004

Andhra Pradesh, India.

Tel: 0866 – 454647 (R) 555284 (O)

E-mail: daragopi@satyam.net.in

 

Chapter I:  Our School

Chapter II:  Our Hospital

Chapter III:  Our Hostel

Chapter IV:  Father John

Chapter V:  Our Nuns

Chapter VI:  The Cyclone

 

 

Chapter I:  OUR SCHOOL

 

It was early in the morning. The day began a few hours earlier. The State-owned bus from the town has come to the village and returned.

It is the time that we all should leave for the day’s  work.

But, today, I was sitting outside thinking about the day’s programme. I did not go for the daily work because of the special work I have today. I told my-self again: “I should do it some how.”

It is not that easy to do the job. Getting my son a seat in the English medium school in the village is going to be the toughest job in my life.

Why me alone? In fact, it is the toughest job for any poor man in the village.

The English medium schools, run by the Roman Catholic Church, have become the places of rich and influential landlords. It is here, landlords and rich people admit their children. In other words, the schools have become their own institutions. They are not within the reach of a man like me.

But, I should get my son admitted into it.

I remember the day when a Sister visited the village along with our Parish Priest a few years ago. It was during night we were all asked to assemble at the church. 

We saw a Sister along with our Parish Priest, sitting comfortably.

My uncles Moses, Peter, Luke, brothers Joseph, Jacob and other village elders were waiting there. Some were chatting, while a few were lying on the ground.

My uncles, Moses and Peter were talking to the Priest. I did not know what they were talking and why the Parish Priest had come at this hour.

More surprising is the presence of the Sister. It is really a surprise to me. My another uncle, Luke and brother Jacob were enjoying their cigar.

Looking tired they both appeared as if they were not interested in the subject.

A few minutes after I went there and sat with them, my uncle Moses invited our attention to the Parish Priest.

The Parish Priest, sitting in his chair, told us that they were planning

to open a school in the village.

“It would be useful for you. You can send your children there and give them better schooling.”

The Parish Priest said. “This Sister has come from the town. She will be the Mother in the new school. It will be a big school in this area.” He said.

We were wondering why the Sister has come to our village to open the school. We thanked Lord Jesus for sending the Sister to our village.

“God is great,” I told my-self. Now we are clear. The Parish Priest has come here to introduce the Sister.

Some of us began praising the Sister for choosing our village. “Good evening Sister.”

We greeted the Sister, as if the divine force guided us all. She smiled at us in reply.

“It being a big school and coming up in your village, we wish you  should do some thing for it. Contribute some thing for it” The Parish Priest told us.

We wonder what is there for us to do? We can’t even buy vegetable everyday. We have no money to contribute for the school.

The Parish Priest told us again. “I can understand your problem. We are not asking you to contribute money. You can contribute your labour.”

“Share the construction work. We will bring the construction material and the engineer. You work there for no money. It is going to be your school. It is your children who will study there.”

We felt a great relief. We don’t have money. What we have is only our labour.

The whole world knows it. What we have is our muscles and not money.

The hard labour that we do every day to earn our daily bread. If that is required, we will do it. After all, it is our school.

“Oh Priest! It is simple. We all will work there. We will work there for our children; for their future. You have come here for our children. How can we charge for the work we do for this cause?.”

My uncle Moses, whom all of us in the village respect the most, told the Parish Priest.

My uncle looked at all of us for our approval. We all said we stand by our words and work for the school construction.

It was a rocky land. Had to blast the rocks and level the ground. It took nearly a year to start the foundation work. It was so hard. We still remember the work in the initial days.

One person from each family used to work one day. Thus we shared the work until the rocky land was turned into a beautiful palace.

Then construction too was over with our labour. We were surprised and amused to see the building.

“The school building is bigger than our landlord’s house.” The Sister, by now, we call her Mother, told us they have fixed the day for the school inauguration. A minister, local legislator, Bishop, priest and the village landlord were the special guests at the inaugural function. We were made to sit on the ground. The entire school campus was decorated. Looking at it now, we feel proud. Because, it is our school as the Parish Priest told us it was for our children.

Every guest congratulated us for constructing such a beautiful building.

The minister wished our children and us all success. He wanted us send our children to the school and get them all educated. We were given some biscuits and tea at the inaugural function. “Hey! What are you doing here? Are you not going to the school today to get the boy admitted there?”

My wife, Mary, shouted at me and brought me back from my past recollection.

“Stop spending time in day-dreaming. Take the child and get him admitted in the school.”

She told me. “Ok. Don’t shout. I am going now.”

I told her and asked for the child. “Where is the boy?”

“I don’t know. He must have gone to play now. I will bring him, you get ready.”

My wife told me moving out of the house looking for the child. We have a child, Jesus. He is four years old. We want to give him some education so that he could live a happy life.

Not like us, working day and night just for daily bread. With lot of sufferings and struggle all through the life.

Humiliation and ill treatment by the landlord. We don’t want our child to live the same life. He should live a happy life. A life better than what we are now.

My wife told me to meet the Mother in the school and request her to give admission to Jesus.

Today I wanted to go to the school along with Jesus and request the Mother for admission.

With all these thoughts, I finished my bath and dressed up neatly. I have a dress, which I use once in a year, on Christmas day. It was my marriage dress and I don’t need it every day. Not even for other festivals.

Now I am in that dress. I felt proud as I looked into the mirror. “I am landlord now.” I told my image in the mirror with a smile on my face. The image acknowledged me.

My wife came in along with my child. She smiled at me as I look smart today.

My child, Jesus, too smiled at me and said: “Daddy where are you going?”

“We are going to the school my child.”

I told him and asked him to get ready.

My wife gave him bath and dressed him up neatly.

Now, we are ready. Before leaving the house, we offered prayers to the Holy Mother. Sought her blessings. We, vowed to visit the Holy Mother’s pilgrim in the town if the child gets admission in the school.

My child, Jesus and me left the house at the auspicious hour.

Though Christians, we believe and practice the Hindu faith. We have adopted several of the Hindu customs like offering coconut and tonsure as part of our prayers.

We walked through the village, while everyone was watching us.

I felt proud because, in many of our houses, parents guide their children to the landlord for work.

Even my father guided me to the landlord, where I have been working for the past 15 years. But, what I get from the landlord is peanuts.

Defying this tradition, I am guiding my child to the school. People are very curious. Some heckled me, while a few wished me that I should get admission in the school for Jesus.

We all wish and pray to the almighty that Jesus should get admission in the English medium school. The school is located a little far away from the village. It is 10 minutes walk from our houses.

Thinking about the school, I looked back to the past again as I walk along my child.

After inauguration, the Mother brought some more Sisters. We were told that the Sisters stay there in the school teaching the children.

The Mother gave employment to five persons: a watchman, cook, gardener and two servants. But, none of them were from our village.

Neither the Sisters nor the five employees there speak our language. We were told that they have come from other State.

We felt so bad about it. We thought some of us would get these works. But we were left out. We were more surprised and shocked when we were denied admission in the school.

My uncle Moses, tried to join his son, George, in the school. But, the Mother refused admission because the child did not speak a single English word.

“It is difficult for the teacher if the children do not understand the language. This is English medium school and your child can not speak a single word.”

The Mother told my uncle, Moses and sent them back.

After that, none of us have tried for admission in the school. Children from the landlords, traders and the rich families, from our village and the neighboring villages are now in the school.

Having contributed our hard labour for the construction of the school, we are left out. The Mother told many of us. They are not taking children who can not understand English.

Now, I pray to the Holy Mother.

“Let my child, Jesus, get admission in the school.” We have come to the school. As we walked in, the watchman at the gate stopped us.

He doesn’t speak our language. We can not understand his language. This is the reason why none of us dare to visit the school.

But today, I had to come. I told him I wanted to meet the Mother. I pleaded with him to send Jesus and me inside.

He got one point. The Mother I used. He sent me in. I prayed to the almighty. Getting inside the school is great thing for people like my son, Jesus and me.

We walked under the shade of the trees straight to the Mother’s room.

The Mother is the school principal.

As we were walking in, a landlord from the neighboring village came in.

He parked his motorcycle there and walked straight to the Mother’s room.

The landlord was there for an hour and we waited outside admiring the big buildings, the tall trees and the green garden.

After all, it was my villagers and me, who have developed this rocky land

to a beautiful palace today.

The sweet memories and the cool atmosphere landed us into sleep on the floor in front of the Mother’s room.

The Mother might have come out to see off the landlord and found us sleeping on the floor.

She might have also called the watchman and must have shouted at him for

allowing my child, Jesus and me.

The watchman banged me and woke me up.

The Mother and the watchman shouted at me for sleeping.

I apologized to the Mother and kneeled down there, seeking admission to my Jesus.

She looked at Jesus and said: “No I can’t give admission for this boy.”

Well, it was an expected reply from the Mother.

I caught hold of the Mother’s feet.

“Mother, please don’t say so. I beg you. Please admit my child, Jesus in the school.”

“It is not possible. Can’t you understand?.”

The Mother shouted at me trying to walk into her room.

With tears rolling down in my eyes, I pulled down my child Jesus and made him to touch the Mother’s feet.

“Mother, please take this child. You said the school was for us.”

I tried to recall her promise to the village at the time of construction of the school.

“Yes, I said so. But it is not possible now. Can you pay the school fee?

Can you buy him uniform? Can you teach him at home? Can he read and write English? This is English medium school. You understand?.” The Mother shouted at me.

“We can’t give admissions to people who can’t fulfill these things.” The Mother walked in, leaving my Jesus and me on the floor.

She pressed a button. The watchman appeared there.

I could not understand what were happening to me and my Jesus.

The watchman held my collar and dragged me towards the gate. He pushed me out of the gate.

I fell on the ground outside the school gate. I heard my son crying from inside.

“Please don’t beat my Jesus. Leave him away. I don’t want admission.

Please don’t kill my Jesus.”

I too cried with folded hands.

The watchman let my Jesus come out of the school campus.

They shattered my dreams.

Jesus was denied admission in the English medium school.

I walked back home with dirt on my dress and child crying.

The villagers looked at us as we walk back. I can guess what they are going to talk about me.

I have no option but to guide my child to the landlord.

“God why have you given us this life?”

Holding my child, I ran into the house and fell at the Holy Mother’s portrait with tears rolling down.

“Mother have mercy on us. We are your children and Jesus is your

child.”

 

I prayed and cried. The entire family cried there. But no answer. The Holy Mother too is hapless.

 

 

Chapter II:  Our Hospital

 

I am on my way to the landlord’s home from his fields.

After heavy work, I feel tiered. I want to go home early today and take rest.

My wife, Mary, is in the family way. She stopped working. The entire family is living on my wages.

In a day or two, a new member will join the family, when Mary delivers the baby.

I thought of sending Mary to her parents for delivery. But, they are too poor and there is no hospital. So I dropped the idea and kept her here.

We have a dispensary at the Parish Priest’s house. There are two Sisters who take care of it and give us medicine.

This dispensary is enough to take care of my Mary at the time of her delivery.

Thoughts of Mary and the new baby brought smile on my face. It is wonderful to think about the baby inside.

Jesus is my first child. This would be the second one.

I don’t know what baby would it be. We are waiting for girl. It would be better if it were a girl. She can play with her brother Jesus.

Doesn’t matter even if it is a boy. This is enough. Two children are enough.

With these sweet thoughts I reached my landlord’s home. Cleaned the cattle shed. Filled the water tank.

As I was working in the cattle shed, landlord’s wife called me inside. She asked me to go to the shop and bring some vegetables for the evening.

“Shit!”

I told my-self and took a bag and the money to buy the vegetables.

I wanted to go home early today to see my Mary. Play some time with Jesus there.

I must also take some vegetables home. I don’t have money right now. I have to go home, look for some money and come back to the village.

Though we have about 100 families in our hamlet, there is no shop. We have to come to the main village where the landlords and the rich live.

I brought some vegetables and handed over them to the landlord’s wife in the kitchen room.

I could not understand one thing. These people, the rich and landlords, won’t touch me because we are untouchable.

But, they drink the water I bring for them. They cook the rice I produce in their field. They eat the vegetables I brought for them. But, they won’t touch me.

I don’t know what to call it. It is same in many villages. The rich and landlords call us untouchables. But they take every thing what we give them.

I said bye to my landlord’s wife and walked towards my house in the hamlet.

I am surprised. It is locked. No one is there. I wonder where has my Mary gone?

I saw my grand mom coming towards my house.

She told me: “Mary had pains this evening. Moses took her to the dispensary.”

I am shocked again. Worried more.

I just ran towards the dispensary, praying to the almighty.

“God save my Mary.”

My eyes are wet. Tears started rolling out of my eyes.

I reached the dispensary. There was no sign of Mary or Moses.

I knocked at the door. One Sister came out. I asked her about Mary.

She told me, Moses took her to the town hospital by cart, as there were no medicine in the dispensary.

I cursed myself. I returned to the house.

Took my bicycle to go to the town hospital. It is 20 km. I peddled the bicycle with great speed, praying to the God.

I am not sure whether they have reached the town hospital or on the way. I forgot to ask the Sister at what time they left the dispensary.

If it was not too late, I must meet them on the way.

“Yes, I should meet them before they reach the town hospital.” I told my-self.

I am peddling the old bicycle with great difficulty.

Mary’s parents gave this bicycle to me at the time of marriage as dowry. I use it only to take Mary to the town.

“Yes, I could see the cart going towards the town.”

I increased the speed of my bicycle to reach them. I am worried how my Mary is now. I want to see her now.

“Oh God! Save my Mary.”

I prayed to the almighty.

I reached the cart and looked at Mary. She is screaming with pains. No one can stop this to her. We can only console her.

My son, Jesus is sitting in the cart, with a sad face not able to understand what was happening to his mother.

My uncle, Moses is walking in front of the cart, leading bullock safe on the road.

I called my son to come down and take the bicycle.

Jesus got down from the cart and took the bicycle from me.

I jumped into the cart and touched my Mary’s head. She opened her eyes only then and looked at me. I can see some relief in her now.

The cart entered the town. It would be another five minutes travel by the cart to reach the government hospital.

I began praying to God. I want my Mary, rescued from the trouble.

We reached the hospital.

Thank God! The gate is open. They have not yet locked it. “God is great!” I told my-self.

Uncle Moses and me brought Mary down from the cart. We carried her straight into the hospital.

The watchman stopped us there and asked us where we were taking the woman.

“We are taking my wife to a woman doctor.”

I told the watchman. I think he understood what I said. He showed us a room at the end of the corridor.

We carried Mary there. The room is closed and another watchman is sleeping in his chair at the door.

I woke him up and asked him to open the door.

The watchman opened his eyes. Looked at me first, then my wife and uncle. He closed his eyes again, without opening the door.

I woke him up again.

Surprise! He stretched his hand towards me even without opening his eyes.

I did not understand what he was doing and what his intention was. But uncle told me to put some currency note in the watchman’s hand.

“God! I did not bring any money. I came running but could not think of money. What to do?”

“Take this.” Uncle told the watchman by placing a currency note in his hand.

It was only then that the watchman opened his eyes and the door too. He directed us to a corner on the right side of the room, where two nurses are sitting and chatting.

We walked straight there along with Mary. But the nurses did not look at us.

“Madam!” I called them. But they did not respond. I walked to them and wished them with folded hands.

The nurses stared at me and raised their eyebrows meaning: “What?”

I showed my wife to them. After all, nurses are also women and they can understand the difficulty of labour pains.

But, I was proved wrong. The nurses did not respond to my request.

Mary started screaming on the top of her voice. The two nurses looked at her again and asked me to wait outside the room for the doctor to come.

“Can’t you understand what I said?”

One of them shouted at me and asked me to go out and wait for the doctor.

I could not stop my tears.

“Shit! They are not women.”

I told my-self again and again cursing them and praying to the God to save my Mary.

“I don’t want anything on this earth. I could not put my son, Jesus in the school. If I could not save my Mary now, what for I am?”

As I was talking to myself, one of the nurses came and took my Mary to the bed there.

I did not understand what happened for a moment. But my uncle told me that he had given her some money. It worked and my Mary got admitted in the hospital. She is on the bed now.

It took a few minutes for the doctor to come. He did some testing sort on Mary and told some thing to the nurses there and left.

The nurses returned to my uncle and told him some thing.

My uncle, Moses, came back to me and told me that Mary has to be operated. “Cesarean.” They called it. I did not understand any thing. My uncle told me

that we have to pay Rs 1,000 to the doctor and the nurses.

“It is unjust. This is government hospital and we need not pay.”

I told him with the little knowledge that I have about the government services in the hospitals.

But, he asked me to keep quite. He walked straight to the nurses and spoke to them. They took him out. Must be to the doctor. I don’t know exactly.

I walked to Mary’s bed. She is screaming and crying. I tried to console her and sat on the floor next to her bed holding her hand.

I told her everything would be all right and uncle Moses was taking care of the things in the hospital.

Two hours later, my uncle returned with the nurse and doctor. They shifted Mary on to the stretcher and moved her to the operation theatre.

Within minutes, a nurse came out and asked us for a Ceylon bottle in another five minutes. It was next to impossible for us to buy one bottle.

The money that my uncle brought with him must have been over by now. Any further expenditure means, it is mere death for us.

My uncle looked into his pocket and could trace Rs 15. He gave me that and asked me to get one bottle from the medical shop outside the hospital.

I rushed to the shop for a bottle. I gave him the money, Rs 15, for the bottle.

The boy there laughed at me and said it costs more. I have no money. What to do now?

I begged him to give me one with the money that I have on my hand. I promised to pay back the amount by evening. I cried before him at the shop. It was of no use. He refused to give me one bottle.

As I was thinking, my child, Jesus came to me. I did not even recognise the boy following me till now.

“Yes, I got the money.” I told my-self and asked Jesus to bring that bicycle here.

I told the medical shop boy to take my bicycle and give me a bottle. It took almost 30 to 40 minutes for me to get a bottle.

I did not even ask the druggist to return the remaining money for the bicycle.

I just ran into the hospital without even thinking about my child, Jesus.

It was nearly more than six hours that Mary began suffering. In another hour or so, she would be relieved of all these pains. We would have a new child in the family.

I saw my uncle standing outside the operation theatre. I gave him the bottle. He looked upset.

“What were you doing till now? The have been asking for the bottle.”

He asked me and looked at the door. We spent another 15 minutes there waiting for the nurses to come out for the bottle.

A few minutes later, the door was opened and the doctor came out first. The two nurses followed him. They did not look at me or ask for the bottle. They called the compounder there and told him something.

The compounder went into the operation theatre and brought back Mary on the stretcher.

I saw her. For a moment, I thought she died. I prayed to the God, the almighty to save Mary and her newborn child.

But, God did not listen to my prayers.

Uncle Moses walked to me and held my shoulders tight expressing his love for my family and me. Then, he told me the saddest news that I could ever hear.

that we have to pay Rs 1,000 to the doctor and the nurses.

“It is unjust. This is government hospital and we need not pay.”

I told him with the little knowledge that I have about the government services in the hospitals.

But, he asked me to keep quite. He walked straight to the nurses and spoke to them. They took him out. Must be to the doctor. I don’t know exactly.

I walked to Mary’s bed. She is screaming and crying. I tried to console her and sat on the floor next to her bed holding her hand.

I told her everything would be all right and uncle Moses was taking care of the things in the hospital.

Two hours later, my uncle returned with the nurse and doctor. They shifted Mary on to the stretcher and moved her to the operation theatre.

Within minutes, a nurse came out and asked us for a Ceylon bottle in another five minutes. It was next to impossible for us to buy one bottle.

The money that my uncle brought with him must have been over by now. Any further expenditure means, it is mere death for us.

My uncle looked into his pocket and could trace Rs 15. He gave me that and asked me to get one bottle from the medical shop outside the hospital.

I rushed to the shop for a bottle. I gave him the money, Rs 15, for the bottle.

The boy there laughed at me and said it costs more. I have no money. What to do now?

I begged him to give me one with the money that I have on my hand. I promised to pay back the amount by evening. I cried before him at the shop. It was of no use. He refused to give me one bottle.

As I was thinking, my child, Jesus came to me. I did not even recognise the boy following me till now.

“Yes, I got the money.” I told my-self and asked Jesus to bring that bicycle here.

I told the medical shop boy to take my bicycle and give me a bottle. It took almost 30 to 40 minutes for me to get a bottle.

I did not even ask the druggist to return the remaining money for the bicycle.

I just ran into the hospital without even thinking about my child, Jesus.

It was nearly more than six hours that Mary began suffering. In another hour or so, she would be relieved of all these pains. We would have a new child in the family.

I saw my uncle standing outside the operation theatre. I gave him the bottle. He looked upset.

“What were you doing till now? The have been asking for the bottle.”

He asked me and looked at the door. We spent another 15 minutes there waiting for the nurses to come out for the bottle.

A few minutes later, the door was opened and the doctor came out first. The two nurses followed him. They did not look at me or ask for the bottle. They called the compounder there and told him something.

The compounder went into the operation theatre and brought back Mary on the stretcher.

I saw her. For a moment, I thought she died. I prayed to the God, the almighty to save Mary and her newborn child.

But, God did not listen to my prayers.

Uncle Moses walked to me and held my shoulders tight expressing his love for my family and me. Then, he told me the saddest news that I could ever hear.

I was told that the baby died. I remained voiceless for a few minutes. I did not know how to respond and what to do.

My uncle was holding my arms. He told me: “Joseph, be brave.”

I don’t know what to do with the bottle in my hands. I also don’t know what to tell my Mary and my child, Jesus.

We took her back to our cart, parked outside the hospital.

I did not speak. My uncle also did not speak anything. We started to our village.

I looked at Mary sleeping on the cart. I looked at the boy, Jesus sitting next to her on the cart. I looked at my uncle, Moses, who was guiding the bullock.

I looked at the bottle in my hand and the boy at the medical shop, the bicycle parked there.

I threw the bottle into the drainage in silence and walked behind the cart in grief.

 “God, why do you do this? Can’t we have a new baby? Even after so much of trouble?”

“Yes why should I have a new baby when I could not give minimum education for the child I already have? I could not get admission in the school for Jesus and had to return home in silence.”

“God, why this life for us?”

 

 

 

Chapter III:  Our Hostel

 

I was working in my landlord’s fields when my son, Jesus came to me. I wondered why Jesus had come here. For a moment, my heartbeat stopped because I thought about my wife, Mary.

Mary is still unwell after the sad experience and suffering that she had at the government hospital.

Thinking about Mary’s health, I asked Jesus why he had come there.

"Uncle Lazarus had come. He wants to talk to you it seems." Jesus told me.

"Let him wait at home till evening. I will come after the work." I told him.

But Jesus said: "No, uncle wanted you come home soon. He has to go back it seems."

"Ok. You go home. I will inform the landlord and come."

I told my Jesus. He left for home.

I went to my landlord told him about Lazarus visit and took permission to go home now.

Lazarus is Mary’s elder brother. He is the only surviving person in Mary’s parents’ family. Lazarus two brothers, one sister and his parents died in the 1991 floods to River Krishna.

Mary was fortunate. I married her one-month before the floods and Lazarus, with his wife, Margaret and three-year old son, Francis, were here at my home because of which reason, they survived from the devastating floods.

A year later or so, Lazarus put up a house in the same village and settled. My wife, Mary and me have asked him to dispose the house-site there and come to our village. But he did not come and remained there.

He had admitted his son, Francis, in the boarding school in the town. I don’t know what class he is in now.

After the Mother rejected admission to my son in our village school, I was thinking of putting Jesus in the boarding school with Francis. I should ask him now whether it is possible to put him now or we have to wait for some more time.

Thinking like this, I reached home.

Lazarus was sitting on the cat, while Francis was there sitting with my wife and crying.

"Hey! How are you Francis? What are you doing there with your aunt?" I asked him sitting on the cot next to Lazarus.

Neither Lazarus nor Francis responded to me. They looked more serious and were not talking anything. Even my wife, Mary too is silent.

I saw my son, Jesus playing alone.

"Yes, tell me Lazarus, what made you and your son come here?"

I asked Lazarus. He did not respond.

I looked at Francis and asked him why he was crying.

"When did you come for holidays?" I asked Francis.

As we were talking, my uncles Moses, Peter, Francis and my neighbours walked in to see and greet Lazarus.

Lazarus had not come to my place for the past three years. So they all came to wish him and also see the child, Francis.

With everyone asking him the reason for his weeping, he looked hesitating to tell.

Lazarus told me that Francis did the same at home and so he brought him here hoping that he would reveal to Mary.

It was then, Mary intervened and asked him the reason for his cry. She touched his head sweetly and asked him.

Francis started speaking. We all were ready to listen to him.

"I don’t want to go to the hostel." He said, wiping his tears.

"Why? What happened?" Mary asked him.

"Our warden (a priest) is bad. He beats us every day for every thing. Some times without reason."

"No one will beat you without reason. You fellows must have did some thing there in the hostel."

Uncle Moses said trying to find fault with the boy.

"No. We did nothing. He beats us badly every time."

"True. In the hostel, the wardens beat the children for nothing or for simple mistakes." My aunt said supporting Francis.

She continued: "You know Shanthi, my grand daughter. She is now in the hostel. She was badly beaten once by her warden sister."

"Who will beat her without reason? She must have done something." Moses said.

But, my aunt turned him down and said: "No, she did nothing. She was late in the morning from the bed. For that small mistake, the warden made her kneel down for 30 minutes and made her roommate ring the bell near Shanthi’s ear. It was too hard and Shanthi could not bear with the bell’s sound. She could not stand on her knees for such a long time and fell unconscious."

Francis got some support to his argument. He began talking about his bad experience in the hostel that made him run away from the rest of the boys.

"Our warden took us all once for a movie in the town. After the movie, my friend and me missed the way in the traffic and went to the hostel very late. The gate was locked and we had to jump over it and go inside."

"But, our warden noticed us and called us. I told him that we missed the way and had to trouble in finding the way back to the hostel. My friend also said the same because it was what had happened."

"Our warden sent me away and asked my friend stay back."

"I don’t know what happened then."

Our warden and my friend came into the study room. He asked all the students to stop for awhile. He then called me to his side and asked my friend and me stand on our knees. He then called all the boys there and asked them all to give a slap on our back.

As the students were hesitating, the warden told them:

"If you don’t do it now, you will never go out. I will not allow anyone of you to go out." He said and forced them all to beat us.

The boys started beating us. All 90 boys gave us a slap on our back. It was painful and could not bear it.

Francis stopped and cried.

"Why did your warden do that?" Moses uncle asked Francis.

"After I left the warden’s room, he asked my friend to confess the crime. He said we both went for another movie and came late. Though my friend denied it, he forced him to accept it."

"You can’t bluff me anymore." The warden told my friend promising amnesty. Fearing punishment, my friend confessed the wrong crime only to satisfy the warden. But it turned against us and we were punished."

"He did not leave us there. The next day, our warden called both of us to his room. He got my friend and me tonsured. It was horrifying."

"The warden asked us to go home and bring our parents."

"My friend, fearing second punishment from parents, jumped into the canal on our way to the bus station. I think he died. I never saw him come out of the canal water. I got scared."

"If you force me back to the hostel, I will do the same."

Francis said looking at us and holding his sister, Mary’s hands tight in fear.

"This is worst. Why should these wardens behave like this?" I yelled.

"They don’t have children and families behind them. They don’t know how difficult is to handle children. They only know the discipline and they love the gardens and pets that they grow."

Moses uncle said.

"It is not that every priest is like that. But, most of them behave like that. They attach more love with animals and garden and not people. They love their pets more than anyone on the earth."

My uncle said consoling us.

I asked Francis: "What do you want to do now?"

"I will not go back to the hostel. I will join the government hostel." He said.

We thought that would be better and decided to shift the boy from the boarding to the government hostel.

As we were talking, Joshua walked in. He is a distant relative of mine and lives in a village, which is 50 km away from my village.

Mary got up and offered him a glass of water.

He looked sorrowful. He looked at Francis and broke down.

We were all shocked. We wonder what had happened to him.

I walked to him and wrapped my hand over his back consoling and asked him what had happened.

Wiping his tears, Joshua said:

"Everything is over. Why should I live? The hostel killed my child." He said.

"What?" I didn’t get him.

"You know my child, Abraham, died."

"Where"

"In the town canal. He is of the same age of this boy." He said looking at Francis.

"Why did he go there?"

"He was in the boarding."

"One of the boys from the boarding came to us and told us about the death of my Abraham."

"They told us that the boy jumped into the canal and died. But we wonder why did he go to the canal from the boarding. They said the boy went out for haircut and must have slipped into the canal."

"I saw the body at the hospital. He shaved off his head. I don’t know why he did that."

Joshua said breaking down with tears again.

Now, we got the link. Abraham is the boy about whom Francis was telling a few minutes before.

I turned to Francis and asked him:

"Is that Abraham, who was punished along with you in the boarding?"

He said "yes."

Holding Joshua tight and I tried to console him.

"The boy did not go for haircut and slipped into the canal."

Joshua looked at me in surprise.

I said: "He died after jumping into the canal. Francis is witness to that. It was the warden who forced your child jump into water and end his life."

I told Joshua the entire story that Francis had told us just now.

Joshua broke down again. I could not console him. There were no words left with me to console him.

Scared at the Joshua’s weeping, Francis ran to his father, Lazarus and held him tight in fear.

"What if our schools and hostels turn against us like this? We have no option but to depend on the government, which means again the landlords and politicians. If these institutions turn against like this, why should we have them at all? Where is the need for their survival? Whom are they serving?"

I asked myself. There is no answer. I could not even visualize any answer to these questions.

We want our children to be alive, whether educated or not.

They can work along with us in the paddy fields and live instead of ending life.

I had only one answer to all these questions:

"God is there. He will correct them all."

I told Lazarus not to beat Francis anymore, as he is already scared. I also told him that we could join the boy in the government hostel.

I saw shining in the boy’s eyes. He is happy because he need not go back to the boarding and end up in jumping in any canal.

 

 

Chapter IV:  Father John

 

We have a regular visitor to our village. We love him the most, because he loves us the same.

He is there in every need of ours and in every crisis.

He works in a college in the town. He used to come here with some students during holidays and spend time with us. He used to work for us with the students.

He has been there for very long period. He is friendly with us and even eats in our houses. He doesn’t ask for any special dishes. He eats whatever is cooked at home.

We see Jesus in him and in his love for us. He plays with us and spends time with us once in awhile.

One particular thing in John is that he doesn’t like us call him Father.

"We are all human beings and we are all equals." He says.

According to him we should not call anyone Father because we have only one father that is God almighty.

It seems Jesus said that we should not call others as Father. So, he doesn’t allow us call him Father. We just call him by name ¾ John.

It was most uncomfortable for us to call him by name. We were hesitating to call him by name in the beginning. But, he never liked it. He forced us to call him by name.

After a few years, we are used to call him by name and today we love calling him John. He is our family member. Everyone in the village consider him as their family member.

It is how he became one among us, a member of the village.

Today he came to the village. He came straight to my house and sat on the cot.

I greeted him, while Mary offered him a glass of water.

"How are you Mary?"

He asked her giving back the tumbler.

"Better."

She replied and went in side.

He then asked about Jesus and me.

I told him what had happened to Jesus and my attempt to get admission in the school.

"Don’t worry. You can get him admitted in the government hostel."

He said consoling me.

He also asked me about Mary and inquired about her health.

He is not aware of what had happened to her last month. He was not here for the last five months.

He is even not aware of our bitter experience that we had in the hospital and the tragic death of the newborn baby.

I told him about the incident and our encounter with the government hospital and the money that I owe to my uncle, Moses.

I can see tears in John’s eyes. The story moved him so much.

There was absolute silence for about 10 minutes and then he said:

"Let us forget about this. Start a new life."

"That’s what I have been telling Mary all these days John. But she is not able to digest the horrible incident." I told him.

He accepted it and said:

"It is difficult for women to digest it. We have to give them the moral support to overcome the sadness."

Jacob, my brother-in-law in the village, came to greet John.

"Hey Jacob! How are you?"

John greeted him.

"I am fine. How about you?"

"I am alright. Where are you coming from?"

"From fields! Where else I go?"

He came and sat on the cot next to John. He borrowed a cigarette from John and started smoking.

We feel John as one among us. We don’t have any reservations in give-and-take relations.

With us, he feels at home and with him, we take more freedom. He has always been a good friend, guide and philosopher to us.

"How is your work?"

John asked Jacob.

"Nothing new. It is same. Working in the fields and again at home. There is no increase in pay. But there is a lot of increase in the workload."

"My landlord purchased a couple of she buffaloes. Now he has all together five buffaloes giving milk everyday. I have to take the milk to the collection point. I make two trips there everyday. This is additional work."

Jacob told him about his new job.

"When you are doing more work, why don’t you ask for a hike?"

John asked him, patting him gently on his back.

"God! The sky will fall down. We can’t ask the master for hike. We have to work or get out."

"Then why don’t you quit?"

"It is not possible. Because, my family owes him so much, even my son can’t change the master."

"Why did your family take that much money from the landlord?"

"My father took that for his marriage. He died after three years. I could not work till I reached eight years. So, interest on the loan accumulated and all that we owe him. That is what the landlord told us."

"Though working there, I take two bags of paddy every year and leave him another two bags towards repayment of the loan."

"I believe my son would have to work throughout his life to clear it."

Jacob said looking dejected.

It is true. Most of us live like that. John says it is nothing but exploitation. But the masters say that it was our duty.

When we think as what John says we begin to feel it is exploitation and tempted to question him because it is our right. But, when we think as the landlord says, we feel it is our duty to clear the debt.

Even today we are not sure who is right and who is wrong.

This confusion is there in almost all of us in the village. But, life goes like that and the masters make us work hard unquestioned.

This is the life in every village in the country for most of us, the untouchables.

We are born to work for the masters and accept the humiliation, ill treatment, bear with the cursing and accept life as it is.

It is here that the masters tell us that ‘Jesus wanted His followers to show the other cheek.’

We are beaten up, our houses burnt and our women raped. We can not question any of these. It is the life that god has given us and we have to accept it with a smile.

"Why this rule does not apply to the masters?"

"Because they are blessed by the god."

This is what the master — be it the landlords or the priests — teach us every day.

But John has a different answer to this.

He says, according to Jesus, "Blessed are the poor!" It was for the poor that Jesus had come, lived and died on the cross.

"Jesus lived and died for the poor" says John.

If that were to be believed, why is that there is no change in our lives.

John says, "it is because of the powers that be."

It is here, we fail to understand. We wonder why Jesus failed to come to our rescue.

"Don’t say that they don’t have problems. Priests or Bishops they all have problems which they can’t tell us."

John says. Life is so mechanical for them. They suffer the loneliness many a time. They hardly find any one to share their feelings.

This suffering is not there in our lives. We have the families and our children to share our feelings and problems.

Most of them are interpersonal and talk to themselves. We are intra personal and we have so many around us to talk and spend time for us in need.

"We love people, they love pets; we love making friends and they love making money; we adjust with the time and they are strict with the time. These are the basic differences that we have with them" is what John says about the priests and the masters.

"This is not common with every one here. But, most of them are like this," he said not trying to blame everyone.

It must be true, because he is an inside person. He knows things better than us from outside.

But, John has some difference. Like many of us, he loves people and not pets. He is for poor and certainly not for the rich. This is the reason why he is here.

Whenever we see him, we see Jesus in him and wish that everyone, the rich and the religious, should be like John to us.

But, I believe that it is very difficult to find such people around. It is not that such people are not there among the rich and religious. But, they are rare species from that category. John is one such rare specie, whom we love more.

"Ok Jacob. Please cook some thing for me tonight. I will come to your home for dinner"

Jacob accepted it with smiling face.

My people love to have John with them for lunch or supper. Because, he eats whatever is cooked and doesn’t need to make any special arrangements.

Most of us have guests once in awhile and we cook non-vegetarian food occasionally.

Some treat John as their guest, while some treat him as a family member offer whatever is available.

This time, John has come to stay for more than a week. We spend this week sharing so many things with John.

We sit with him like students sitting in the classroom in front of the teacher. We learn so many things and try to understand the society. There will be all types of discussions with him.

Our subjects for discussion would mostly be around religion, social systems and exploitation of the poor.

I wish to discuss with him my experiences in the school and hospital and seek his comment on that.

More important is that I should make sure that Jesus is joined in some school. This is my dream and I want to see my child in the school.

Jesus would be the first child to go to any school in our family. My great grand parents, grand parents and parents were all illiterates.

I must make my Jesus read and write what the landlord had written in the documents and took my thumb impression at the time of my marriage.

The landlord took my thumb impressions on two papers and gave me some money for the marriage.

I do not know what exactly is written in those documents. I wish my Jesus should read them and tell me. I may not make him the district collector. But, I wish that he should learn reading and writing at least to read those documents with the landlord.

I am confident that John would help me put my child in some school.

Of course, he had already promised to get admission for Jesus in the government hostel.

I must take a word from John during his stay in the village.

This is what my wife, Mary, has been telling me.

Jesus should learn to read what landlord has written in the documents.

I began to suspect my landlord only when John told me how these landlords cheat labourers.

I can also feel it because my landlord is making me work for him alone because my father had taken some money from him promising repayment through labour.

I became a bonded labour with the landlord who showed me a document with my father’s thumb impression. He said it was my father’s thumb impression. God only knows it.

It has the signatures of the two elders in the village as witness to the deal.

Having worked for more than 15 years, I am not worried to work there for another 15 to 20 years. But, my child should not be made victim here.

What if the landlord produces the document and asks my child to work in his fields?

This question haunts me every time when I think of my child.

Particularly, when I am at work in the fields and when the landlord asks me about the child.

He has already asked me twice about what my child was doing and what I was planning for the child.

Every time I told him that he is still young and I have plans to send him to the school.

I suspect some thing wrong and the landlord has set his eyes on the child.

I should send my child away from the reach of the landlord.

This is my duty and dream. A wish I must fulfill.

 

Chapter V:  Our Nuns

 

One day, we were sitting in the village to discuss some important thing. John had asked us to attend this meeting without fail. He wanted all men and women to be preset at the meeting.

This must be some important thing. Otherwise, he would not have asked women also to be present.

There are very rare occasions, when John invited women also to participate in the discussions. He usually does not trouble women by asking them to sit in the discussions. But he advises us to convey the discussions to the women at home.

Today, he asked all of us to be present at the discussions.

All of us have come here to listen to what John would say.

As every one started coming in, some of the elders, who had heavy supper, began smoking cigars.

The air there was thick with the cigar smoke.

A little away from us, women sat chatting about their family problems.

John sat on a mat. My uncles Moses and Peter flanked him on the mat.

When everyone came, John started speaking aloud:

"I am sure, most of you are unaware of the incidents that have taken place in the recent past in northern States. Two Nuns were raped, two priests were killed and one church was demolished."

"The government says it was committed to punish the culprits in all these incidents. But, nowhere an accused was nabbed so far."

The newspapers bring us all these incidents. Every day there is a report on rape of a Nun, attack on a priest or church. As it appears, there is no action from the government."

"The Opposition and our Church leadership blame the Hindu fundamental forces for these incidents. They charge these fundamental forces responsible for these incidents. Which means that the government and the Opposition know who the culprits are."

"But, there is no initiative from the government to expose the culprits. The culprits who continue the brutal acts against Christian and Muslim minorities are taking this situation as an advantage."

"Having failed to pressurize the government on protection to the Minorities, particularly the missionaries, the Church leadership had called for a national strike for one day on November 16th. We were all asked to participate in the strike in support of the Nuns, who were raped and the priests who were attacked and looted."

"We should make this national strike a success to tell the communal forces that they can’t go on victimizing the Christians. This would also make clear our strong feelings to the government against its indifferent attitude in punishing the guilty."

John said describing some of the incidents where Nuns were kidnapped from the bus stops and were raped. He sought our cooperation in making the national strike a success.

The Church leadership had already issued circulars to all our educational institutions to remain closed on the day in support of the national bandh call.

Uncle Moses, looked at every one around and said:

"John, we have no problem to join the national strike. We condemn it and wish that such things should not happen to any one, why only the Nuns?"

"Stop beating around. Tell us what you think about this and tell us whether we should join the strike or not"

Peter asked Moses uncle.

"Let me tell you what I feel about the incident." Moses replied.

John also advised us not to interfere and disturb the speakers.

Resuming his speech, Moses said:

"Look, rape of Nuns and attack on priests is not a small thing. We should all condemn it. But, there is something fishy behind the Church leadership’s call for national strike."

"What is that you suspect in the strike call?" John asked him.

"This is not my word. This morning my wife’s brother came here from the town. He told me this."

"What is that?"

"Why should the Church leaders react only when Nuns are raped? Why not they react when our women were raped? Our houses were burnt and our men were butchered?"

"Where did it happen?"

"It happened at Karamchedu, Pippara, Kanchikacharla, Peda Nallakalva, Tsundur and every where and every day. Who were the victims in all these cases? Were they not Christians? Why the Church leaders have failed to condemn any of these cases and why are they now calling for national strike? Does it mean that only Nuns and priests are Christians and others like us are not?"

Question after question, he raised so many. He looked more serious. It is, perhaps for the first time, I am watching him talk more serious. I never saw him in the past.

I looked at John. He took a long breath and lighted a cigarette.

"Moses, what you or your brother-in-law said is true. Several untouchable Christians were butchered in all these places and their women raped and houses burnt. Never, in the past, the Church leadership condemned any of these incidents."

"Then why should we condemn it now and join the national strike?"

"Moses, let me complete my argument." John said and he continued:

"I agree with you that Church had not responded to any of these incidents. It is also true that the Church is reacting now. You should understand one thing. The Church leadership had began taking political decisions. This is what we have been looking forward from the Church all these years. Let us support it now and ask it to respond to our problems too."

John said looking at everyone there.

I felt what John says was reasonable. It is natural that people react only when their interests were harmed. Once they come out open, we can make them respond to the cause of every Christian.

But Moses uncle and some others seem to have different opinion.

Jacob said:

"John if you want us to join the strike, we will join. But I doubt whether it makes any impact. One more thing is why should we think about people who never bothered to protect us."

"If you don’t respond because they did not respond for you, in what way you are different from them? There should be some beginning and I wish we should begin it now and right here."

"Why should we begin it for them? And why not they do that for us?"

Jacob asked pointing his finger at John.

"As things appear, we are born for others and not for us. Let us now react to the cause of the Church and expect the Church respond to our problems"

John said trying to pacify every one there.

We felt what John said was reasonable. But a question flashed in my mind:

"Yes, as John said, we responded to the request of the Church to construct a school building in our village. What happened later? Why did not I get admission for my son in the school? Why is the Church not responded to my plea for my child?"

There was absolute silence. People there are thinking seriously about the problem.

It looks most of us are prepared for what John says. We ask him so many questions to get things clarified. It does not mean that we are opposed to his ideas and proposals.

The women, though were not consulted by any of us on the issue, were found discussing the merits and demerits of it.

I saw Moses’ brother-in-law coming there. He introduced himself to John and all of us as "Mathew."

He said:

"I am glad at least now you people began thinking beyond your lives. The realities of our lives in this country are same and even worst. You never reacted when our fellow untouchable Christians were butchered and their houses burnt. I am not saying that no untouchable Christian reacted to those incidents. There were many that came to the rescue and support of the victims, except you."

He took a small breath and continued:

"We have been fighting for equal rights for us both within the Church and outside. This is one of the hundreds of our villages, which had never joined any of our struggles. I wish at least now, because of people like John, you have opened your eyes to the world."

"I tell you a small incident that took place in Pedanalla Kaluva village of Prakasam district a few months ago. The landlord’s son seduced one of our girls in the village. He took her to the forest, enjoyed her along with his friends by force and hanged her to death."

"After nearly a fortnight, we found her body. We know it was not a suicide but a clear death. There was no one to take our view. The police, the officers and the Press declared that the death was suicide and not homicide."

"There are so many girls and women from among us, who are victimized like this. But, not even in a single incident that the Nuns, leave alone the priests and the Church, have responded. We pleaded with every one, we have given an open call to the Church leaders and the Nuns, in particular, to condemn the incident and mount pressure on the government to expose the guilty."

"Now, the same Nuns and the Church leaders are asking us to condemn the rape of a Nun and want us join the national strike. Is there any guarantee that these Nuns and priests condemn similar attacks on us and organize strike in future?"

"Ok. What do you want these people do now?"

John asked Mathew.

"I feel that it should be left to the people here. Let them decide what to do"

He replied politely to John.

John asked us for our reactions. He asked us to speak openly, without any hesitation.

"There is nothing much that we can speak now. John knows things better. Now, Mathew appears to have some working experience in this kind of incidents. It would be better if they decide and guide us now."

I said looking at every one there.

"This is where we are wrong. Why should some body decide for you? Why should John or myself decide for you? You know the incident. And you know the good and bad. Can’t you decide now?"

Mathew asked, while John looked at him nodding his head positively.

There was a silence for a while. People began thinking.

Breaking the silence, I said:

"Let us join the national strike. Whether good or bad, let us support the cause. I feel it is right thing to do."

"Why do you say it is right thing?" John asked me.

"I don’t know the politics of good and bad. But I know only one thing that our anger against the Church is our family matter. Our fight against the culprits is to protect ourselves and our religion."

I said with my little knowledge of things.

John looked at every one asking for their comments.

Moses, Luke and Jacob repeated what I said earlier.

"Our anger against Nuns or priests is our family affair. Let us not make it public and strengthen the outsiders. Before enemies or outsiders, we are a family and we should not give impression that we are divided."

John asked the women for their comments. The women felt shy to speak. But, Mary, my wife, came forward and said the decision was good.

"Nuns are also women. We should look at the issue from our side and not from the point of religion."

Mary said. I never expected that she would speak like that. The life makes us speak these facts. They come from our heart and our experience. Every day we study our life and live it.

Some times we adjust to the things and some times feel depressed. There are more occasions when we feel like revolting and fighting against injustice and fighting against landlords.

But, we can’t. Because we feel that we are weak and the landlords are strong.

Given an opportunity, Mary has proved that we have more ideas and clear understanding of the things. We are not second to anyone in understanding the situations.

John and Mathew clapped in appreciation of our decision, particularly, Mary’s observation.

John said: "That is good. You should realize the fact that our anger is internal and our fight is external. We express our anger with the Church leaders and settle things inside. But, we have to fight with outside forces to protect ourselves."

We felt a sigh of relief as both John and Mathew accepted our point.

Mathew asked for a white paper and wrote down what we have decided. He asked the elders to sign on the paper. He said he would distribute copies of the letter to the newspapers for publication.

"The village supports the national strike and demands that the government punish the guilty in the rape of Nuns and murder of priests. The village wants the government to provide security to the untouchable Christians. The village of also appealed to the Church leadership to condemn atrocities against the untouchable Christians."

We called off the meeting and moved towards our homes.

We asked Mathew to ensure that our statement is published in all newspapers. Tomorrow we should see the name of our village in the newspapers.

It is really great. We have people like John and Mathew in our midst. We learn more with them and we will do more things in the coming days if they remain with us.

I gave a pat on my Mary’s back appreciating the lead that she had taken to express her feelings.

Both of us are thinking on the same lines.

May be because of our encounter with the two incidents: school admission in school for Jesus and the death of baby in the hospital.

 

 

Chapter VI:  The Cyclone

 

It was really a bad time for us. The evil cyclone has destroyed our homes.

The trees were uprooted and the huts collapsed. Hundreds of us in the village were rendered homeless.

We lived the life under the sky in the cold for a week.

The children and the aged had even more tough time in facing the cold waves.

There was no food to eat and no water to drink. We were left to our fate on that week.

Fortunate or unfortunate, the community radio set is working. In fact, it remained the only connecting device for us with the rest of the world.

But, the news about the cyclone in the radio caused us more heartburn than the very cyclone itself.

The radio declared that food packets were dropped in our village by a helicopter. True, we saw a helicopter, which come around the village in the air and disappeared.

We never thought it was meant to drop food packets. How do we know that unless they did it? We learned it only after listening to the news in the radio.

The radio declared that food packets and new clothes were dropped for us and we are happy with that. But, there was nothing. There was no help from the government.

"Is it not misleading the rest of the world about the help that is being talked about for the village and the flood victims," said Jacob.

"True. But what can we do? It is their government and their radio."

Moses said.

"We can’t sit like this. Let us do some thing to tell the whole world that the government has not done anything." Peter said.

"That is good idea. But how to go about it?"

Moses uncle asked him.

"I don’t know how to go about it. But we have to do something,"

Jacob said.

Everyone in the village seemed to have accepted what Jacob had said.

We all feel that there is a need to tell the whole world that the government has done nothing for us.

There was some good news in the village. We were told that a team of journalists was visiting the village to study the damage caused due to the cyclone.

It was really a good opportunity for us in the village to describe our difficulties to the world.

The team came in. We met them together. First we told them about the damage that was caused to the village and all of us. We described how the cyclone hit us and what were our fears and feelings.

The journalists put some questions to us like what time did the cyclone hit? What were we doing when it actually drowned us and destroyed our houses? Whether we received any warning or not?

We have told them all the sufferings we had because of this killer cyclone. We have also showed them the houses that were damaged in the cyclone.

They took some photographs of the damaged and destroyed houses. They also took some photographs of us, particularly the old people taking shelter under the trees.

We had nothing to offer to our guests. Not even a glass of water. We were helpless as the cyclone destroyed everything. We have to start living from the zero.

We told them that we have nothing to offer them. Then they asked us about the government’s help.

"Sir, we just listened to the radio news. It said food and drinking water packets were dumped in our village. It is a lie. A big lie. Not a single packet was dropped here. The helicopter came here and made two rounds over the village. Then it disappeared in the air. But, we heard from the radio that food and drinking water packets were dropped in the village. It is far from truth. Please tell the world that nothing has been given to us."

We told the journalists. They have noted down all our points. They expressed sympathies with us and promised to see that some help was extended to us.

They left us leaving a lot of hope. We were told that they are the people who can expose the wrongs and get things done in the right direction. We are hopeful that at least now, the helicopter will drop some food and water packets.

A day passed and there was a sign of helicopter coming to the village. We got up and looked up into the sky.

Yes! Some thing is being dropped from it. In a few minutes, there were hundreds of packets falling down from the helicopter.

We thanked the journalists. They must have written our tales of owe in the papers. That must be the reason for the helicopter dropping the packets.

We were happy. There was light in the eyes of the villagers. All of us ran for the packets. Some fell on the roads. Some remained where they were hoping that they would get at least one packet of their share.

Our happiness was short-lived. The packets did not land safe on the ground. Some fell on the tress and got destroyed. Some fell in the water and disappeared. Some fell on the road and broke open destroying the food. The water packets too were found to be no use.

Most of it went waste. But we tried to have something from it because we are hungry and thirsty too. We need to live. So we have to eat whatever is found and we have to drink whatever is available.

It was a long and unforgettable suffering. It was a nightmare for all of us.

Two days later, our Parish Priest visited our village. He spoke to us and recorded all our names. He promised some help from the Church. We are confident that Church is not a government and so the help would reach us.

Days have passed. We have began our life. Started putting up thatched houses. Some of us purchased palm leaves and put up the houses.

It was a month later, the parish priest came back. He called for a meeting in the village. He began speaking to us.

"Brothers and sisters God is great. He is with you all and that is why you are alive. God’s blessings are with you and that is why the Church leadership had agreed to help you in the hour of crisis."

"I had reported the damage caused to you due to the cyclone. I have briefed it all to our Bishop and sought help on your behalf."

"We must thank our Bishop for his generous contribution. He had agreed to help you. Though you are 500 families, we are able to help now only 25 families. I wish you decide the beneficiaries. Because you know who is the worst hit by the cyclone."

It was a happy news for us that Church has come forward even after a month to help us. But we were shocked to hear that only 25 would get the benefit. That too, the priest wanted us to select the beneficiaries from among us.

How can we select the 25 families from among us? We are all badly hit by the cyclone. We don’t have anything now. We are all equals and there is no difference in the extent of damage.

But the Priest wanted us to select us the beneficiaries. That too, they said they would give material for setting up thatched houses, which we have already done with whatever, we have after the cyclone.

We wanted the Priest to give us the money so that we could use it for some other need.

The Priest refused to give us money as it was sanctioned by the Bishop only to supply material.

Then we wanted him to give us utensils if he was so particular about not giving us money. But, surprisingly, he refused it and said he would give material only to put up thatched houses.

"We have already put up thatched houses and what do you want us do again with this material?"

Moses uncle asked the Priest.

"I don’t know that. The Bishop asked me to give you material for the thatched houses and if you don’t want it I will go back with the money."

The Priest said.

We did not know what to do. It was funny and irritating. What shall we do if they come with the material, which we already have? If they come with a different thing, we could accept it.

The Priest is not even ready to change his proposal and give us the utensils.

Can we call it help? It is an eye wash and we don’t need that. The help should be really useful for us and in this case, it is too late.

"If you insist that we should take the material for putting up huts, we don’t need this help because we have already put up huts. If you are really concerned about us, try to help us in a different way."

Jacob told the Priest.

"Okay. If you don’t need our help it is your problem. Forget it. I will tell the Bishop that these people refused our help." The Priest said.

"We are not refusing it. Try to understand the reality. You have come here with a help which we don’t need." Moses uncle said.

But the Priest was reluctant and left the village cursing us for not accepting the help he offered us on behalf of the Bishop.

We are helpless. We don’t need that help. We want what is required to us and not what we already have with us.

If the Priest or the Bishop or even the government is particular about helping us with a material for putting up thatched houses, they should have come much early. We were literally living under the trees for one month. It was only after the water receded, we put up the thatched houses.

They took more than a month to come back to us offering material for thatched houses. Is it the help they call?

We can understand their problem too. They must have written the proposal to some foreign country for help. By the time the proposal was approved and the money was cleared, it was too late.

In stead of insisting on the same help, the Priest must have helped us in different form.

As victims, we wish they should come with an open mind to help us. Provide us whatever is required for us and not whatever they decide.

Any help should be according to our needs and not according to their plans and proposals. What if the government and the Priest come to us with utensils?

We wish that if the government gives us utensils, the priest should give us clothes. Or if the government gives us clothes, the priest should give us utensils. Otherwise there is no meaning for the help.

In times of crisis, they should plan according to our requirements and not according to their ideas.

But, who is there to understand all this and help the victims?

It is a big question that not even God can answer.

We began living our own life. Because we have to live.

 

 

----- To be continued